(SBA) - Dale and I experienced a small miracle last week. After nine years, we were finally able to see our oldest son (50 in September) and our oldest grandson (16 in July). My friends remark that they cannot imagine going nine years without seeing our child and our grandson. Frankly, neither can we, but the reality is that nine years have passed since our last reunion. As you shake your head, I need to explain to you why so much time has passed. Twenty-three years ago, our son Andy married a woman that he had met in graduate school at the University of Iowa, Jiha Moon. Jiha is Korean and came to the United States for an additional masters degree in studio art. Our son Andy went to the University of Iowa for graduate work after graduating from Buena Vista University. There, he met and subsequently married Jiha Moon, whose Korean lineage stretches back thousands of years. In Korea, women artists are frequently prevented from careers of any merit. Consequently, Jiha Moon came to the United States with the determination that she would not return to her home country. Today, she is an American citizen, a professor at Florida State and, not surprisingly, a famous artist. (Google her and you’ll see.) Unfortunately, early in their marriage (before Andy’s bipolar condition and place on the Autism Spectrum were established) Andy told Jiha about his abusive father and sadly, Jiha came to believe that I, too, had abused Andy. That was never true, but Jiha believed that it was. Consequently, Jiha did everything in her power to keep Andy and me apart. Fortunately, Andy and I have maintained a relationship via email, phone call, and text and our grandson Oliver and I have also been able to correspond as well. Each time over the past nine years that Dale and I have tried to visit Andy and his family, Jiha has announced that the time is never “convenient.”
Fortunately, last week the stars aligned. Jiha Moon was commissioned by the Stanley Art Museum at the University of Iowa to create a large mural (if you go to Jiha Moon on Facebook, you’ll see the finished project) for their main foyer. So, for two weeks, Jiha, Andy and Oliver were in Iowa City as the mural was created. Two of Jiha’s students came from Florida State to do background work and, although Jiha crafted the eight ceramic masks that create depth in the mural, Andy and Oliver worked on the painting of the mural, as well. Andy has the same University of Iowa degrees as does Jiha and has worked as a graphic designer for many years, but Andy says that Oliver is a better artist than he is, no surprise for a kid who has been surrounded by art for his entire life. Oliver, however, wants to be an architect, but of course there is a great deal of art in architecture. Next summer Oliver will intern with an architecture firm in New York, where he hopes to go to college. He has a 4.08 GPA, so he should be able to go to school wherever he wants.
A year ago, Andy’s family moved from Atlanta to Tallahassee, Florida as Jiha (and also Andy) were hired at Florida State. Andy and Jiha love Florida, but Oliver misses Atlanta where they had lived in a Korean-dense area and Oliver had many friends who were also Asian. Sadly, Oliver is the only Asian-American in a virtually white high school and he has had difficulty making friends because he doesn’t look like every other kid in his school. Twice, Oliver has been involved in fights because he is different, but Oliver is almost six feet tall and a black belt in Tae Kwan Do, so the fights have gone in his favor, is such a thing can be measured. Oliver’s girlfriend of four years is also in Atlanta and Oliver says he is not interested in any of the “white” girls in his school. We hope that this second year in Tallahassee is happier for Oliver because he will have a car and the privilege of parking in the high GPA parking lot. Although Oliver is a “mutt” of whiteness on his father’s side, Oliver’s features are Asian and he identifies as such. His heart, however, is his father’s and Oliver is kind, caring and affectionate with the face of an angel (according to his much-biased grandmother!)
So, with Andy, Oliver and Jiha a mere few hours drive away from us, we spent last week with them in Iowa City. As we have remained in close non-physical contact with Andy and Oliver for the past nine years (our contact with Jiha has been non-existent!) there was no awkwardness when we met. We had three glorious days of shopping, eating and talking with them and we even met Jiha at the art museum to view her work. She also went out to dinner with us one night, although she had to leave early. We hope that we have mended some fences with Jiha and we hope that another nine years doesn’t pass until we see them again.
