(SBA) - We are in Denver as I write this column, a week before it is published in THE ADVOCATE. For the second year, we are spending Thanksgiving with our daughter and her family. Today, it is snowing lightly, and the house is full of dogs and people. Lydia and Nolan are pet-sitting one dog, Paris, who is staying at their house and is running around with their two dogs, Chili and Penny. Paris loves the snow, but he is a toy poodle, desperately in search of a haircut, and so each time he goes out the doggy door, he comes back with snow packed to his entire body. The kids are also pet-sitting a neighborhood pit bull mix who has to be fed and walked twice a day. There is also a cat sitting job in the mix. The kids are looking forward to making some additional money shoveling the driveways of some of their neighbors. They charge six dollars per driveway, but if the neighborhood tips them additionally, they come back the next day and shovel some more. The twins will be eleven in December and are full of energy. All of the chaos is getting to Kelly as she told Lydia a few minutes ago that Lydia was getting on her “last nerve.” Now, Lydia is playing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and Kelly and Nolan are out the door for an occupational therapy session for Nolan. Recently, Nolan was diagnosed with ADD (but hot hyperactivity) and also with dysgraphia which means that he has difficulty writing. He also cannot tie his own shoes, a task that is shameful to him. I now realize that both of my children have dysgraphia as well, because Kelly’s handwriting is abysmal and Andy had a terrible time learning to tie his shoes. I reminded Andy the other day on the phone of the struggle for both of us at the time and he told me that he ties his shoes now in a way that is strange to other people. When my kids were growing up, there were no such diagnoses as there are today and we parents were blissfully ignorant of ways to help our children as they grew up. Andy did have a friend Mark in preschool who was severely ADHD and his parents put him on Ritalin before he even started kindergarten. Mark had a very tough life and he died before he was 21. I wonder today if he might have lived a better life if there were other ways (maybe non-chemical) for him to cope. Mark’s disability was so severe that his family did everything that they could for him, but I’m sure they wish there had been other options for him.
Lydia plays the piano, sings in the school choir, is a cheerleader for the school and will compete in her first ice skating competition next weekend in Aspen. Nolan plays basketball and football, sings in the school choir and plays the drums. Both of the kids love to read. This trip, I made the mistake (ok, I don’t think it’s a “mistake,” but others in the house do) of bringing the kids a card format of “Shakespearean Insults.” I told Kelly that I thought the cards would be good for the kid’s vocabulary and they have already memorized several that they think they can use with each other. All of our grandchildren are very bright (what else can a Grandma say?) But it is so fun to watch and hear these precious little people in their daily interactions. We enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with our son-in-law’s parents who live near to Denver. Trent was raised as an agnostic and it is strange to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast with no prayer of Thanksgiving.
We had planned to stay in Denver through the weekend, but one of Dale’s brother’s wives died last Monday and the funeral is Saturday in Early, Iowa. So, we will return home on Friday, which, frankly will be a relief for Kelly and Trent as they are both so busy working, shuttling children to a variety of their activities and keeping up with their own social life. When Kelly and I went to the “ARC” this morning, I told her that I didn’t know how she did everything (very common is working parents!) and Kelly confessed that she didn’t know how she did everything, either. I was a single parent with two children, and it seemed like I was always busy, but I could not then, nor now, keep up with Kelly’s pace. Kelly is the director of a non-profit that works with disadvantaged women and children. They have an upscale thrift store with many dedicated volunteers and even Kelly had to work on Black Friday. Kelly said that the store cleared $80,000 last month. The store is very popular and one of their best sellers is their re-designed Christmas decorations. Throughout the year, donors give a large selection of decorations and two of the women who volunteer at the store are gifted artists. One is a retired Art professor and the other an interior designer and according to Kelly they create fabulous decorations that sell quickly. Kelly said that on the first day of their Christmas Sale that there was a line out the door before the store even opened.
Now the race to Christmas is on! Sadly, the two of us will attend two funerals this week. Why is especially sad when people pass away during the holidays?
