(SBA) - Recently, our son and his family were visiting our house. Four year old, Hudson Dale, was happily playing with some toys, when, all of a sudden he looked up, swiveled his head around and asked, “Where’s Grandpa?” His dad bent down to look him in the eyes and said, “Grandpa’s in heaven.” “Why?’ queried Hudson. “Because God needed him,” came his dad’s reply. “But I need him,” whaled Hudson. We all need him right now, but sadly Dale is no longer here. We’re trying to find ways to go on without him, but oh, it is tough.
Many people wonder what to say when someone dies and so they revert to the old chestnut,” thoughts and prayers,” which is somewhat comforting, but does not really ease the sorrow of the grieving. I thought you might like to know some of the words of comfort I’ve received, both by mouth and written in cards. One woman wrote, “Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow.” One card read “The special people in our lives are never really gone…they have a cherished place in our hearts where they will always be remembered for the love they shared and the happiness they brought.” One handmade card (because I am a card maker, I always love it when someone takes the time to make me a card,) read “Those we love can never be more than a thought away, for as long as there’s a memory, they live in our hearts to stay.” Another card that seemed to capture Dale’s spirit read, “Those who have given of themselves to others will live forever in every single heart they have touched.”
One card read “God gives every person their own song—it’s one that will play their entire life long…it’s a song filled with beauty and day-to-day grace, that plays through until they see God face to face.” Dale had his unique song of joy and laughter, and I hear it in the wind and the sounds of nature today. A coda to that thought read, “May you see God’s love in the faces of family and friends, may you feel His love in every caring word and may you know His love in the hope that is to come.”
One card contained this beautiful poem,
“Life is a journey
Of sweetness and sorrow,
Of yesterday’s memories
And hope for tomorrow.
Of pathways we choose
And detours we face
With patience and humor,
Courage and grace.
Of joys that we’ve shared
And of people we’ve met
Who have touched us in ways
We will never forget.”
There are no “perfect” words to say to someone who is grieving, and believe me, any words are welcome if they express the sadness that each one feels when someone whom they know, and perhaps even love, is gone. I hope the thoughts that I’ve included in this column will be an inspiration to you when you simply do not know what to say. Thank you to all who have reached out to us in our time of sorrow.
