By Ann Petersen, SBA Columnist | 12/11/25
(SBA) - Despite all the peppy songs and Christmas advertising for stores and online sellers, this is not “the most wonderful time of year” for everyone. Recently, I was in a meeting where we were asked to tell the person seated next to us what we were looking most forward to for Christmas. My first reaction was “nothing,” but I was seated next to a person who echoed my thoughts and then added, “Christmas is for children.” I wanted to disagree with the person because I think Christmas is not just a time for presents but instead is a time to celebrate the gift of God’s son to our world. Like many of you, I spent too many years trying to create the “perfect” holiday for my family and finding that, most years, I failed miserably. I spent too much money, focused only on what I thought would make others happy, ate too much, slept too little and then was disappointed when the day after Christmas came and the holiday was simply over. I remember very few gifts that I gave or received and my life did not change markedly, although my bank account surely did.
This year has been sad for me and, although I’ve purchased too many presents and tried to fill my time with happy activities, I have not succeeded in making up for the emptiness that fills my heart. I was in a Hallmark store recently and I saw an ornament that recalled Dale’s favorite movie, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” I reached up to pluck the ornament from its spot on the wall, thinking how much Dale would enjoy the memory, when I realized that I wouldn’t be buying Dale another ornament, or indeed any gift again. I decided that I would use the money that I would have spent on Dale to make Christmas a little brighter for some children in the foster care system as Dale would have approved of those gestures. I will never know how my gifts will affect the children who will receive them, but I think that Dale will know and that thought brings me some happiness.
As I was preparing to write this column, I looked for hymns that would express my thoughts at this time of year. I found several of my favorites including, “O, Come, O, Come, Emanuel,” “Break Forth, O Beauteous Heavenly Light,” Oh, Little Town of Bethlehem” and “Silent Night, Holy Night.” I listened to many other songs, both secular and religious, and found myself crying as I remembered times in my life when these songs warmed my heart. I need to remember the joy of those times and not permit myself to see only the sorrow of the present day.
This holiday will be different, but I want to focus on the image of God coming to us as a vulnerable infant, to remember that this time of year is holy, that both joy and sorrow are sacred and that our relationship with God, and with others, is woven together with divine grace. Although many of us are walking in the shadow of loss, we should not feel compelled to “put on a happy face”, especially when it feels so false, but we should focus on the fulness of our humanity in both sorrow and in joy. Throughout the Scriptures, particularly in Lamentations and the Psalms, we learn that all seasons of our lives have sorrow; no one is immune. But we can share our sorrows within the safety of our faith communities, to find strength and solidarity. Christmas should be a time to lean on God’s love, trusting in His grace, as He guides us towards healing with our God, our community and our world. We need to remember that we are not alone, despite the profound sense of isolation that comes with loss. God has given us the gift to create, heal, forgive, reconcile and transform the human heart, both ours and all of creation. Charles Wesley’s hymn, “Love Divine, All Loves Excelling” reminds us to ask God to “finish then, thy new creation” which becomes a prayer for God’s love to bring us forward into healing. It is God’s presence that we must cling to in moments of darkness and despair. Gathering at the time of year when light is short and darkness long, reminds us that God’s light is never fully extinguished, and the sky is always darkest before the dawn. “To go in the dark with a light is to know the light. To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.”—Wendell Berry.
Whatever thoughts you carry in your heart today, remember that God love us and that there will again by light in our lives. Amen.
