(SB) - Dale and I are blessed to be grandparents to six amazing little people—four boys and two girls. We are so proud of each of these individuals, ranging in age from 15 to 3. We are grateful that we can see five of the six regularly and we keep up with #6 via email. As a parent, I always assumed that when each of our children went off to college that we no longer needed to worry about them, but the opposite is true—not only do we worry about our children, but also about their children, as well. We rejoice when each child/grandchild attains a particular goal, but we sorrow when something happens that presents that child/grandchild with a challenge that we cannot ease for them.
One grandchild, Lydia Bossley, age ten, is first in our hearts right now. Lydia is our daughter Kelly’s daughter and half of Kelly’s set of twins. Lydia’s brother Nolan seems to float through life with barely a care (academically and athletically) while Lydia seems to have more challenges than most children of her age. Lydia was born with Sturge Weber Syndrome, a condition that presents as a birth mark on some or all parts of the body and often indicates mental, as well as physical issues. Lydia’s condition is limited to her left cheek, but the birthmark also wraps around her left eye. In her initial diagnosis at four months, the doctors warned Lydia’s parents that glaucoma leading to blindness and mental challenges would probably be present as her birthmark reaches all of the way to her brain. Happily, neither of these issues has transpired and Lydia is an exceptional student, reading at the ninth-grade level and enjoying every activity except for football, which is her twin’s passion. When Lydia attends a football game, she brings a book.
Recently Lydia had her 61st laser treatment to break up the skin of her birthmark. If this skin is not blasted apart, that skin will not grow and her face would be skewed. It is assumed that individuals such as the Elephant Man had a form of Sturge Weber which, untreated, led to the disfiguration of both his face and his body. Fortunately, there is a specialist in San Diego, California who treats individuals with Lydia’s form of Sturge Weber. Once a month for many years, her parents have flown from Denver to San Diego for Lydia’s treatment. The procedure is done under general anesthetic and for the next two weeks, Lydia’s face looks like someone hit her with a baseball bat. The procedure is also very painful for Lydia. On a recent trip while the family waited to board a plane back to Denver, a woman came up to Lydia and asked her what had happened to her face. Although her brother Nolan tried to explain that Lydia had just had a treatment of her birthmark, the women said something nasty and walked away. Lydia was humiliated and extremely hurt that an adult would treat her that way. Lydia has grown used to stares, but comments are very hurtful. Even children in her school have been cruel, leading to the reality that Lydia has no real friends. Additionally, Lydia has difficulty with her legs and she spent two years in special casts to correct the deficiency. Recently, the doctors decided that Lydia needs at least another year in the casts. Given all of Lydia’s challenges, it would be easy for Lydia to be bitter, but the true nature of her heart is evidenced by a recent essay that she wrote for her teacher which I am including in this column. Keep in mind that Lydia is ten years old.
“Hi. My name is Lydia Ann Bossley and I am in 4th grade at a school called the Rocky Mountain School of Expeditionary Learning. Some things to know about me are that I play the piano, I absolutely love cats and I ice skate. I am also in a club called “Kindness Club.” I choose to be in Kindness Club because I think kindness is something everyone should do. In our club, we do amazing acts of kindness such as
Helping teachers with tasks like organizing and cleaning classrooms.
Visiting nursing homes and crafting with the residents.
Reaching 1,000 kindnesses in one month.
Being Pen Pals with another school and meeting them at the end of the program
Filling care packages and mailing them off to military troops
The importance of being kind is more powerful, helpful and inspiring than anything else. Doing a kind act could be as simple as helping a friend feel better, supporting a classmate with homework, helping a teacher, being honest, cleaning up your toys so your parents have less work, and being respectful to your peers online. Most of these examples take little time and have lasting impacts.
You might be thinking, “what’s in it for me?” Well, there are lots of benefits to the kind giver! In our Kindness Club, we learn about kindness research. When you do a kind act, it not only makes the person receiving the kindness happy, but it also makes you happier, too! The studies that we learn about show that being kind has a positive impact on our own health. The research shows that kindness creates a sense of belonging. It helps reduce stress, brings a new way of thinking about things, and deepens relationships.
For me, kindness is the most important thing to practice in my life. Kindness makes others feel good, is easy to do and makes me happy. Kindness comes down to empathy, compassion, and self-awareness. It is free and easy to do! I know that kindness makes the world a better place and my dream is that everyone shows it. I love being kind!”
How could you not love a child like Lydia?
